traffic makes you do funny things.

i often compare the feelings that arise during extreme holiday congestion to dealing with a death of a loved one.

let's look at my thought process and see if this fits. none of this is directed outward. it comes out in loud singing, biting sarcasm, or cursing quietly to myself. i am saved only by my tiny bladder.

stages of grief.

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.

2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back or get even with spouse of divorce, for death, anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.

3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss. Attempting to make deals with the spouse who is leaving, or attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.

4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.

5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that it takes two to make or break a marriage. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose.

i usually don't arrive at the last stage until i am at my destination.

sorry, rochester.


Matthew Sage said...

that was funny

Pauline said...