11/17/08

m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i.

mississippi is great, don't get me wrong. the drive from austin to hattiesburg is the best opportunity to listen to tom waits constantly. there are, however, some strange laws. here are a few:

If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.

No one may bribe any athlete to “rig” a game, match, tournament, etc.

It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her.

One may be fined up to $100 for using “profane language” in public places.

Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.

Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.

Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.

Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having sex with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.

Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $250 fine.

Unnatural intercourse, if both parties voluntarily participate, results in a maximum sentence of 10 years and $10,000.

It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.


i'm really hoping i don't come in contact with a homeless liar who is constantly swearing and talking about polygamy in a mascot uniform having sex with an unmarried female triathlete while riding my horse on the street after rounding up my neighbor's cows on a sunday morning by a church anytime soon.

2 comments:

Brooke said...

This whole blog made my night entirely. Thanks Young Coyotes!

Laura said...

i just came across your blog. that last paragraph was hilarious.

p.s. you guys should come back to new jersey soon!